You love your people.
You really do.
But sometimes...answering that text feels like solving a Rubik's cube blindfolded.
And before you know it, weeks (or let's be honest -- months) have passed.
If this hits home, you're not alone. ADHD brains are wired a little differently when it comes to relationships. It's not about caring less -- it's about managing more. Let's talk about why drifting happens, why it's okay, and how to gently reconnect when you're ready.
Why ADHDers Drift from Friends (Even the Ones We Love)
1. Out of Sight, Out of Brain
ADHD isn't a memory problem. It's a working memory problem. What isn't right in front of us can slip into the void.
Quick Tip: Jot your people down on a magnetic notes board (like this one) where you'll see it -- fridge, front door, wherever your eyes land.
2. The Emotional Energy Meter is...Low
After managing work, family, and 87 browser tabs open in your head, texting back feels like adding one more thing to an already teetering Jenga tower.
That's not flakiness -- it's mental triage.
Pro Tip: Keep a pack of pre-written "thinking of you" cards on hand. That way, when energy is low, you can drop a note in the mail without needing to word it from scratch. (Check these out!)
3. Rejection Sensitivity Kicks In
You ghost one message...
then two...
suddenly you're spiraling, convinced they secretly hate you.
It's a whole thing.
Gentle Reminder: Most people are just as caught up in life as you are. Self-care reminder cards can help reroute that guilt loop when it starts spinning. You can create your own in Canva, with index cards and markers, or try these!
4. Needing More Quiet Isn't Being Rude
ADHD is LOUD.
Your brain is loud.
Life gets... a lot.
Sometimes we pull away to keep from totally combusting.
That's okay.
That's healthy.
Why It's Okay to Drift
- People who get you, get you.
True friends don't need 24/7 updates.
- Your peace matters.
It's okay to have seasons of pulling inward. Just like it's okay to come back when you're ready.
- Friendships aren't punch cards.
You don't "fail" a friendship because you weren't present every single week.
How to Reconnect Without the Awkwardness
1. Keep It Simple.
Try: "Hey, I know it's been a minute. I've been thinking about you." That's it. No apology monologue needed.
2. Use a Buddy System.
Set a reminder on your phone or planner for "check-in time." Bonus points if you grab one of those cute dry erase calendars that let's you actually see it every day.
3. Don't Let the Overthinking Win.
One message is better than no message. One lunch date is better than none. Start where you are.
A Little Self-Talk When the Guilt Creeps In
- "Needing space doesn't make me a bad friend."
- "The people who love me want me to take care of myself too."
- "I can always begin again."
Maybe keep those affirmations saved somewhere handy -- sticky notes, your phone background, or a self-care deck you flip through when you're spiraling.
Final Ponderings
ADHD friendship doesn't look like everyone else's.
And that's okay.
Sometimes we drift. Sometimes we dive back in.
Both can be true.
Honor your peace. Check in when you can.
And remember: real connection isn't measured in texts per week -- it's measured in care.
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