If there's one thing ADHD brains excel at, it's noticing where things go wrong.
The text we forgot to reply to.
The laundry sitting in the washer for two days.
That slightly-too-loud comment we can't stop replaying in our heads.
But here's the thing:
We don't always notice our own strengths -- or the strengths in others.
It's easy to get lost in what's hard. It takes intention to look up, pause, and notice the good stuff.
That's where strength spotting comes in.
What Is Strength Spotting?
Strength Spotting is the Conscious habit of looking for what's working, not just what's missing.
It's about naming and acknowledging strengths like creativity, humor, problem-solving, empathy -- things that don't always show up on paper but make a huge difference in real life.
For ADHDers, this matters because we often default to focusing on the things we think we should "fix."
That internal script might sound like:
- "I should be more organized."
- "I should have remembered that."
- "Why can't I just get it together?"
Strength spotting flips that script.
Why Strength Spotting Helps ADHD Brains
- It shifts focus from struggle to ability.
- It reduces negative self-talk and builds resilience.
- It helps you notice progress you might otherwise miss.
- It reminds you that you're not the only one figuring things out -- everyone around you has strengths and struggles too.
When you make a habit of strength spotting, it becomes easier to meet both yourself and others with patience and grace.
How to Strength Spot in Yourself
Notice Your Patterns
Ask yourself: When do things feel easy for me? When do I feel proud?
Name Small Wins
"I remembered to drink water today."
"I sent that email, even though I didn't want to."
ADHD wins aren't always big, flashy, or Instagram-worthy.
They still count.
Ask Someone You Trust
We're often blind to our own strengths. Asking a friend or loved one, "What do you think I'm good at?" can open your eyes to strengths you didn't realize you had.
How to Strength Spot in Others
ADHD or not, everyone is juggling things we don't always see. Here's how to widen your lens:
Look Beyond the Obvious
Instead of focusing only on what someone isn't doing, ask: What's going right for them right now?
Say It Out Loud
"I really admire how you handled that."
"You're so creative when things get complicated."
People don't always know they're doing well until someone else tells them.
Practice Everyday Gratitude
At the end of the day, take 30 seconds to think of one strength you noticed in someone else.
Bonus points if you let them know!
Why This Practice Matters More Than You Think
When we're stuck in our own heads, especially with ADHD, it can feel like we're the only ones spinning plates while everyone else is steady. Strength spotting helps balance that perspective.
It's not about ignoring the hard stuff.
It's about giving equal airtime to the things that make life a little brighter and a little easier.
You're not just "getting by."
You're learning.
Growing.
Showing up -- even when it's messy.
And the people around you?
They're doing the same.
Final Thought (Or as I like to call it...Soft Landing)
Your struggles aren't the whole story.
Neither are theirs.
Strength spotting helps us remember that.
It's a small shift with a big impact.
Take a moment today to notice:
One strength in yourself.
One strength in someone else.
Say it.
Write it down.
Let it count.
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