Whether you've just gotten a diagnosis or you've been living that neurospicy life for a while, chances are you've heard some of these questions before...probably more than once. So let's break them down -- lovingly, but also with a splash of please stop asking me this.
1. "Isn't ADHD just a kid thing?"
Oh sweetie, no. ADHD doesn't pack up and leave when we hit adulthood -- it just gets better at disguises. Adult ADHD can look like chronic lateness, losing your keys (again), impulse-buying a houseplant at 2am, or crying because you opened an email. It's still ADHD -- we just pay bills now.
2. "But you're so organized -- how can you have ADHD?"
Because structure is my life raft. Many of us develop coping strategies to survive the chaos. Color-coded calendars, sticky notes, 14 alarms...they're not extra -they're essential. What you're seeing is a curated effort, not proof I'm "too functional" to struggle.
3. "Do you take meds for that?"
That's a super personal question. Some of us do, some of us don't, and all of us deserve the right to manage our brains in a way that works for us. Let's replace "Do you take meds?" with "How can I support you better?" Cool? Cool.
4. "Are you sure it's not just anxiety?"
They're besties, honestly. ADHD and anxiety often hang out together -- one feeds the other in a vicious little cycle. But ADHD is its ow neurodevelopmental condition with its own wiring and challenges. And yes, you can have both. Yay us.
5. "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?"
No. Nope. Nu-uh. Being distracted sometimes ≠ having ADHD. ADHD impacts every part of life -- how we focus, regulate emotions, manage time, handle relationships...the list goes on. Please stop using our diagnosis as a quirky personality trait.
6. "You don't look like you have ADHD."
Ah yes, because apparently ADHD is supposed to come with a neon sign. The truth? ADHD doesn't look like anything. We mask. We overcompensate. We burn out trying to seem "normal." Believe people when they tell you their truth, even if it doesn't fit your picture.
7. "Why can you focus so well on some things and not others?"
Two words: interest-based nervous system. ADHD brains are not broken -- they're wired differently. We hyperfocus on things that light us up and completely short-circuit on tasks that bore us. It's not lazy -- it's neurological.
8. "So you just need to try harder?"
Whew. If effort alone fixed ADHD, we'd be cured by age seven. We're often trying so hard behind the scenes it hurts. ADHD isn't a motivational problem -- it's an executive function problem. And pushing harder without support just leads to burnout.
9. "Aren't you just being dramatic?"
Imagine your brain is juggling 27 tabs, 3 Spotify playlists, and 2 existential crises -- all at once. That's not drama. That's reality. Our reactions might seem "big," but they're real. ADHD often comes with emotional dysregulation. We feel deeply, and we're not broken for that.
10. "Can ADHD go away?"
Nope. But with the right tools -- therapy, medication, routines, grace -- it can become more manageable. We grow. We learn. But our brains will always work a little differently. that's not a flaw, that's neurodivergence.
11. "What's one thing I should actually know about ADHD?"
That it's real, it's valid, and it doesn't make us less than. ADHD can be frustrating and exhausting, but it's also colorful, creative, resilient, and beautifully unique. If you love someone with ADHD, remind them of that often.
What to Say When Someone Asks You These Things IRL:
- "That's a common misconception! Want me to send you a great article on it?"
- "Actually, ADHD looks different on everyone. Here's how it shows up for me."
- "That comment doesn't really help -- but I'm open to answering respectful questions."
It's not our job to educate everyone -- but when you do have the energy, leading with love and boundaries can go a long way.
A Little Love Note
ADHD isn't a mystery to solve or a quirk to dismiss -- it's a whole-brain experience that shapes how we live, work, and connect. So the next time someone tosses you a tired myth or a casual "everyone's a little ADHD," remember: you know your brain best. You deserve curiosity, respect, and a safe place to be yourself -- unfiltered and unashamed. Here's to owning your story, busting the myths, and lighting up the world with your beautifully neurodivergent spark. 💙
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