When the spiral starts...
It's subtle at first -- a missed task, a weird tone in a text, a flash of overwhelm -- and suddenly my brain is off to the races.
"What's wrong with me?"
"Why can't I just do the thing?"
"Everyone else has it together..."
Sound familiar?
Welcome to the spiral zone, friend. The good news? I've been here enough times to start keeping a script.
Why Self-Talk Matters
Our inner voice is the one we hear most -- and if we don't challenge it, it can become our worst enemy.
With ADHD, our spirals can get tangled up in shame, rejection sensitivity (RSD), and perfectionism.
We feel deeply.
We over-analyze.
We assume the worst.
That's why I started scripting soft, honest, reality-anchoring responses to the mean girl voice in my head.
And I want to share them with you.
Scripts for Common Spiral Scenarios:
1. When I can't start the task (but really want to)
Spiral: "Why am I like this? It's not even that hard."
Script: "It's okay to want to do something and still feel stuck. I'll break it down into the tiniest first step -- and that counts as starting."
2. When I forget something important (again)
Spiral: "People are going to think I don't care."
Script: "My memory isn't a reflection of my heart." I care deeply -- even if my brain is full of open browser tabs."
3. When I feel behind in life
Spiral: "Everyone else is doing better than me."
Script: "Comparison is a thief and a liar. My pace is valid. My timeline is sacred."
4. When I mess up and spiral into shame
Spiral: "Of course I did. I always screw things up."
Script: "One mistake doesn't undo my worth. I'm allowed to be human. I am learning -- not failing."
5. When RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) kicks in
Spiral: "They're mad at me. They hate me. I ruined everything."
Script: "My brain is trying to protect me from rejection. But not every silence is a threat. I am safe."
6. When I can't stop crying and don't know why
Spiral: "This is too much. I'm too much."
Script: "Tears aren't weakness -- they're release. I am allowed to feel, even when I don't have the words."
7. When I'm spiraling about spiraling
Spiral: "Why am I like this?"
Script: "I'm not broken -- I'm just wired differently. And that wiring deserves kindness, not cruelty."
Speaking Kindly to the Chaos Inside
Spiraling doesn't make you dramatic. Or unstable. Or hopeless.
It makes you human. And being neurodivergent in a world that wasn't built for your brain is exhausting -- even when you're doing your absolute best.
So the next time the spiral starts, pause.
Breathe.
Borrow one of these scripts -- or write your own.
You don't have to believe it right away.
Just say it softly. Gently. Like you would to someone you love.
Add comment
Comments